Yes! You can be a feminist and old fashion at the same time!

The word "feminist" have a bad reputation among the older generation based on what they experience and seen. However the word feminist is like a huge umbrella with many different topic issues, some can be good and some can be bad depend on what topic you are looking at.

The reason why the word feminism gets a bad reputation is because they think of loud angry women who leave their husband to be like a man by cutting their hair and that majority was mainly "lesbians" that try to be above the men by trying to put the men down. Basically they think feminism are these type of women.........

The older generation from back in these times like my father literally thought the feminist movement were women wanting to be men and be in lesbian relationships with one another and leave their husbands and children for it. Women burning their bras was even a shock for the older generation that they didn't understand the movement of why women were burning their bras and not wearing it was very taboo for them....

How all of this started was back in the 1968 Miss American beauty pageant when a small group of women picketed the pageant with signs proclaiming, "Let's Judge Ourselves as People." They crowned a live sheep, and they dumped bras, girdles, curlers, false eyelashes, wigs, and issues of women's magazines into a "freedom trash can" and this was called the "liberation movement." So you can understand how this can come off as women trying to be like "men" and not wanting to be "women" anymore.

However it was a statement to tell society that women are more than these things that men have categorize us in, but instead it gave feminism a bad name then what it was intended. Like I said before, the word "feminism" is a word that can be on so many different topics, that there are different types of feminism that even women would disagree on.

The topic of feminism I want to discuss is how a woman can be very feminine with old fashion traditions and can still be a feminist at the same time. Before I explain how, I want us to go back in history at how it all began......

We have to look back in the 1920s known as the flapper years. These are women who wanted to push boundaries, by showing more skin, to be open with their sexuality and to let not only the men know but also educate women that our sexual desires are normal and that we too can like it and enjoy just as much.

It's also the moment where women would drink and smoke like a man in public but of course in their own classy way.

Women were starting to own their sexuality and became very daring to show a little more in their boudoir photos......

These women would also push boundaries by not only being open with their sexuality, but even cross dress in mens clothes; some men hated it, and some men actually thought it was very sexy seeing women wear pants because it was "naughty."

These women embraced their feminine and realized what power they could hold at the time and saying "hey, why are men the only one that are allowed to objectify, talk about sex openly with their friends, smoke and drink in public? we should be able to do it too, if they can do it, why can't we?" after all women can do it better and they just look good doing it.

These women just wanted to embrace their womanhood more with their freedom, Of course this was the first step, we still had long ways to go but it was the first of how women use sex to control men and get what they want.

Then you had women in Hollywood that paved the way to show how its done, and one of the biggest icons that everyone knows is of course Marilyn Monroe, however she was not the first nor was she the only one in Hollywood in the 50s era that showed how to control men with sex. Just like the women before her, she learned how to own her sexuality.

Of course there is pros and cons in this situation but during that time, that was the only way to get what you want as a female and using it as their survival and also their weapon, until it wasn't enough and more had to take place of women getting their rights as a human being. Since the beginning of time, women were only looked at as possessions instead of human beings.

With the knowledge we know now, we know very well that the feminist movement was not at all what the older generation thought it was. Women just want to be heard and to be acknowledge that we have good ideas, we have good leadership, we are capable to do anything but we want equal pay like how you would pay the man, don't underestimate us.

We have done it all, being a single mother, a housewife, we are intelligent and wise. Women are not trying to be above the man or let alone be like a man, we want to be partners and that our role is just as important.

I remember hearing a comment from a friend saying to me "You can't expect to be treated as an equal to man and expect the man to open doors for you and pay for the date." It made me wonder is this the type of mindset that majority of women are thinking today? who says you can't have this? I completely disagree with her statement and here is why.

WOMEN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND ANY MAN WOULD BE LUCKY AND BLESSED TO EVEN HAVE YOU, MEN HAVE TO PROVE THEMSELVES TO YOU NOT YOU PROVING YOURSELF TO THE THEM.

It saddens me truly to see women not seeing their self-worth and value as a woman these days, I am proud to be a woman, and yes I do expect to be treated equal like a man when it comes to pay at jobs, and to treat me like a human being to acknowledge my mind and intelligence and to not underestimate me because I am a female, while at the same time treat me like lady with respect and show me chivalry by opening that car door for me and yes honey you are paying for our first date if you want a second.

Now why do I say that? because when I date, I am not really dating just to date, believe me I tried and it's just not my thing to really waste my time on anyone. I date with the potential of marriage, seeing if we are compatible. So if I am going on a date with a man, you best believe I am keeping a close observation on how he treats me, how he's dressed, because first impressions matter and if I am dressing my best, you better dress your best as well. I am even observing the use of his language around me, don't you dare curse on our first date because i'm a f*!%ing lady.

I appreciate morals and values so in a sense that is where my "old fashion" comes in, I actually find it very attractive when men are being a complete gentlemen and I appreciate it very much because sadly not many men knows or being taught how to be a gentleman anymore.

One time did I reject a man "chivalry" and heres why. It was in my university years and one of our class went on a weekend field trip. A man from Haiti asked if he could carry my suitcase for me, naturally I said yes. However while we were walking and talking to our group of classmates to get to our cabin he made a very..... "male" comment to one of the other men when asked why he was carrying my suitcase.

"yeah, women are like babies, men always have to take care of them." I completely stopped and said "oh no, give me my suitcase back if that is what you are thinking, I am not a baby and I can carry my own suitcase thank you very much. The only reason I allowed you to carry my suitcase was because I thought you wanted to be a gentlemen and I actually appreciate chivalry, but if you only wanted to carry my suitcase because you think of me as a woman who is like a baby and can't take care of myself then no thank you give me back my suitcase, I can very well manage on my own without your help."

Treat me like lady but don't disrespect or belittle me because I do have a loud mind that I will speak and make you feel dumb.

Another thing I view on, if I am married and lets say I am not working and I am a stay at home wife and my husband is out working. You best believe I will make sure he comes home to a hot meal, since he's been working all day, why wouldn't I if I really love him? it would be my pleasure to make him dinner so he can eat when he gets home from a hard days work. I don't believe that would make me less feminist, it be us working as a team.

On the flip note, ladies we are now becoming bosses, presidents, and CEOs! and who to say we can't embrace our feminine side while we are the boss at work? we can be firm and determine while dressing like a lady at the same time if we wanted to, I mean check out these bosses.

When you see these women, do you think they pay on their first dates? NO WAY! I mean yes they could but they shouldn't if a man wants to be with them and make a good first impression. These women carry themselves like a queen they really are, while loving themselves as women and females and you can too.

Did you know there is also feminist movement in the christian church at one point? there is! now hear me out, when people think of the christian church they probably think of people like this......

These are not the "christian" church I am talking about or represent. Just like feminism the church too also have many different denominations because of different beliefs and different interpretation of the Bible but thats okay...kind of, but I don't agree with the legalistic, super conservative christians because....well thats a whole other topic within itself.

But the feminism theology I am talking about is the women having the rights to preach and be pastors if God has called them to be one.

A lot of of "religious" people, especially the men but women too, were against the idea of female preachers because of this scripture....

This scripture has been used out of context so many time from vary religious legalistic church and its not as if they are doing it on purpose its just what they literally translate and understood, instead of reading into the history of what was happening at that time and what were the kind of women Paul was speaking to, because there was a reason why he said that and he didn't mean it in a way that women in general can't preach, it was those specific women that were actually being disruptive in the church.

I have always thought it was interesting that people focus so much on this scripture and use it out of context and yet they somehow forgot or read over this scripture in the Bible......

If God has called you and you happen to be a female, there isn't anything a man or any religious person can say or do to stop what God is about to do and in a way its kinda insulting to God when people say women can't preach. (Maybe I can write a blog on this one day if you like because it really is a good topic on its own.)

Like we can be bosses and CEOs as females but we can't preach a sermon? don't put God in a box is what I'm saying. Also these type of women are also great examples of being a feminist and being old fashion at the same time, these women like me, really value partnership and respect with their spouse and they really honor the great men in their lives which brings me to my next point.

Feminist is not just for women, its for men too, men too can be a feminist that lift up women and fight with us for equal pay and equal opportunity but its also men having the rights to show their sensitive side without someone telling them to "man-up" or that "boys don't cry" or even worst because they decide to show their sensitive side to be called that their "gay."

Feminist is a person who believes in social, political, and economic equality of the sexes, to sum it up. What kind of social and political? is where it gets a bit complicated and tricky.

I appreciate men being men in filling the areas that we need them in, let me explain. What I am trying to say is men, we need you just as much as you need us women, we are in this together as partners, not above nor beneath one another, we are here to compliment each other as males and females and most of all as human beings.

There are some things that women can't do and there are some things that men can't do but that is OK! because we got each other and that does not mean that one is better than the other, we can unite as one and acknowledge how we all can compliment each other as a team.

Feminism does not have to be a bad thing, and it doesn't make you less of a feminist if you still value and like being old fashion. you can be old fashion and be a feminist at the same time, we desire harmony and equality while admiring and aprreciating one another as men and women. We don't have to be radical by shaving our head and giving the finger and yelling. We can do it in a classy way and waiting for the right moment to speak our mind the way how a lioness waits for her moment to hunt her prey.

We are in this together and when we are together as a team, we are stronger.