The Sad Truth of Why You & I As Victims Stay Silent.

I came across something very disturbing and more of a sad reality. I was watching a documentary The Case Against Cosby on Youtube.

Usually I don't care about reading or replying to peoples comments on youtube, but this one kinda broke my heart as I was reading some of the most ignorant, cruel, and uncompassionate comments on this topic.

Regardless of what you think about the Cosby case, if you think he was innocent or not, is not my main topic I am focusing or what I want to discuss in this blog, but I want to speak on rape and sexual assault victims.

As I was watching this documentary I was in complete shock of what I was watching and hearing, hearing how one woman decided to press charges after a year when Mr. Cosby drugged and raped her and because of her speaking out, other women revealed themselves one by one saying how it happened to them too by the same man.

Majority of these women stayed silent for years and decades living with this trauma, to finally now being heard and to fight justice like any of us normal human being would want to see. To see these survivors using their voice or the fact that they are no longer alone holding this secret by themselves.

I can understand and relate to this very well for I am once a victim and survivor myself. It took me 25 years to finally tell my parents of what had happened to me as a child, for 25 years I was carrying this burden all by myself not telling anyone, just being a silent victim.

The release I finally felt knowing both my mother and father knows and that I don't have to carry this by myself, that they too can hold and cry with me.

I was so scared to tell my mother and father because I didn't want them to blame themselves of what happened to me because it was not their fault nor was it mine.

It took me a very long journey to finally get the courage to speak out and not stay silent anymore, if you ask me why now? my reply would have been this....."I didn't want to be alone anymore, I didn't want to cry silently alone anymore."

Now compare to these women in the documentary or some of the other survivors, I still feel like a coward because I do not desire to press charges against my perpetrator, I just want to live peacefully as much as I can, I am just happy I finally found my voice to tell my parents.

Sometimes I wonder why that is, why do we stay silent? then I come to finally realize why so many of us stay silent. Peoples reaction can be so cruel and in a way give us a total big rejection which hurts us more in the process.

How I find that out? when I was reading through the comments on youtube and majority of the male comments are on Cosby side and basically disrespecting and ridicule these women with their ignorant comments.

I will write some of them down............

"no need for a physical evidence as long as you have a vagina and show few tears."

"he should have denied every charge. liberal whores are trying to castrate all men."

"Too many women that didn't report a crime."

"I still don't believe them them women gold digging whores."

"These women are pathetic who doesn't call the cops after getting raped multiple times."

"I still stand by why wait so long to say something?!"

"LOL since when was rape a fatal event to 'survive'"

"these women worshipped the almighty dollar! God forgive them all!"

"Rape victims, not rape survivors."

"maybe they are going back to see if they really felt it, then it took them 20 years to say yes I felt it."

"After 30 years you are now going to civil court. Lol. Nice retirement scheme."

"Q: What will you do after being raped?

A: Waiting till the next 20/30 years "

These are the comments I read of people who feel the need to ridicule after these women finally spoke out. But imagine if these comments were being thrown at me or at you? I felt very sad and heart broken that these people are very insensitive and have no clue of what it's like and what they are doing is causing more emotional damage than they realize to real rape victims that are still silent.

Reactions like these is one of the main reason why victims stays silent. 80% of rapes and sexual assault go unreported, out of 1000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free. Less than 1% of rapes lead to felony convictions.

The people writing these comments clearly shows ignorance and are complete bias because they are on Bill Cosby side, however this happens in real life of victims speaking out and the person they shared their secrets with, automatically didn't believe them and tell them they are lying and the victim is hurt all over again.

These people wouldn't make such comments or make jokes about victims staying quiet for 20 years or more if it was their own child who was the victim themselves and stayed silent. It would break their hearts that their child had to carry that pain alone.

Humanity needs to get better and be more kinder to help each other heal if we want justice to prevail.